Stank Ho Jadis (You Gone Learn Today) Part II
by Yelle Hughes
Summary: Follow-up to Stanky Jadis. This is a one-shot requested by R King on FB. Thank you so much. A short scene from 8x7 Time for After. Rick, unfortunately, needs the Garbage Pail Kids help. He knows to keep his friends close and his enemies closer. Here's my take on what should have happened. I do not own the characters of The Walking Dead. This is just for shits and giggles
1. You Gone Learn Today

**A/N: Thanks for this request by R. King on Facebook. I loved writing this one and I hope you all enjoy my take on how Rick might have handled the dumb, useless and smelly Jadis from Time for After. Season 8 Episode 7 of The Walking Dead.**

Rick held up his hands to try and block the sun blazing brightly in his eyes when the dumpster divers finally opened the container's door. He knew he was taking a risk showing up at the trash heap by himself, but he had an ace up his sleeve if things went sideways.

They took his gun, his clothes, and his boots.

He was plenty pissed they held him captive in this hot box, smelling nothing but shit and piss all night long. Payback will be a pretty bitch when he gets out of there.

A hot shower, a soft bed, and snuggling between Michonne's creamy thighs sounded hella good right about now and he couldn't wait to go home.

But first, he had to get this Yoda/Vulcan half-breed under his control.

When his eyes adjusted to the bright light, there she was. Standing right in front of him, wearing his utility belt and…

 _Oh, hell no! Is this bitch wearing muh bewts?_

Sitting in a chair next her was one of her folks and it looked like he had a sketch pad in his hands.

 _What the hell?_

His wrists were bound but that didn't stop him from pinching the bridge of his nose and praying for strength.

"Y'all some nasty fucks," he told them. A couple of others stood around the opened doorway and not only was he hit with the smell of feces from the back, he was now getting smacked in the face with a tornado of funk screaming from assholes who hadn't washed their bodies since the beginning of this apocalypse, two years ago.

Rick's eyes squinted through the burning stench, "It's not too late for you Jadis. I told you before, you either join us, or you die. It's that simple." He took a step out of the container hoping to get, at least, a little fresh air.

One GPK on his left lifted his whittle stick in order to intimidate Rick. He stopped and tilted his head at him, "You really wanna try that? Go ahead… you'll be dead before you raise that thing above your head." Fearfully, the man looked at Jadis for direction and she just nodded her head.

He backed away from Rick as he stepped further out into the open. A small gust of wind must have made it through the high piles of garbage, allowing Rick to breathe it in and give a satisfied "Ahhh," when fresh air filled his lungs.

Although he was relieved not to hear their stupid, convoluted language, he was gonna need her to communicate so that she understood what he needed her to do. "Why are you and your people taking pictures and drawing me?"

She just stood there taking pics of him using a 35-millimeter camera with a disposable flash. He knew it was all some sort of intimidation tactic and it wasn't gonna work unless she knew how to develop film in a dark room. Which he highly doubted.

He peeked up at the top of the garbage pile and saw a reflection.

Jadis finally spoke, "Turn."

Rick sighed and did what she said, not because the heapster on his right had a gun because he needed to give _her_ time to make it to the bottom.

He looked back over his shoulder, "I hope you can draw. Chonne wouldn't mind a nice picture of me. If you can, can you give me a slightly bigger ass? She'd like that."

He turned back around after he heard the flash go off, "Why the pictures?"

Jadis threw the flash away and replaced it with another, "Sculpt you, after."

"What the fuck, sculpt me? After what?"

She put the camera down on a nearby garbage can and signaled for someone to enter the trash arena. Another set of doors opened and two more of her shitty folks walked in dragging what looked like Winslow Jr. He wasn't nearly as big as the first Winslow. In fact, he was smaller than Rick.

 _Does this ho really think she gone get me with a walker?_

Rick shuffled his bare feet and when he went to rub his forehead again, he reached out with the quickness and snatched the gun from the guy on his right. Home boy had the nerve to try and wrestle it back from him. Thank god, Rick took a deep breath before moving closer, because the pungent odor, Eau de la farté wrapped around him like a blanket and tried its best to strangle him.

Jadis raised her fist and the others released the walker to attack him. Rick kicked funk boy away from him, raised the gun and shot brain dead Winslow Jr. in the throat.

He shot funk boy, the one who tried to raise his stick and blasted the two others who sicced the walker on him. The only ones left were Stank Ho and the smelly artist.

Rick and his bow-legged strut stood in front of Jadis, the barrel of the gun pointed at her left eyeball. He gave a sharp whistle.

Jadis with fear in her eyes looked around as the entrance door to their trash heap opened slowly and they widened in terror when she recognized who walked through.

"Oh, you remember my wife, right? She's the one you asked to lay with me after." Rick had a cocky grin on his face as he watched his goddess come closer. Michonne carried her katana in both hands and she strode confidently up to Rick's side.

"Here babe, this should help." Michonne handed him a clean cloth that he could hold over his nose. Rick covered his nose and mouth so when he spoke, his voice sounded muffled.

"We told you in the beginning, we needed you to fight with us against Negan and the Saviors, but you thought you had a better deal and sided with them."

Michonne, holding her own cloth over her mouth and nose cut in, "Big mistake."

Rick continued, "It was bad enough that you betrayed us. You grazed me and you sent your she-hulk after my wife, she's dead by the way, and you still have the nerve to try and sexually harass me?" His head tilted sideways with his last question, "I could have forgiven you for the shot but fucking with my wife, my heart… my main reason for wanting to continue living in this shit? Bitch, you got me fucked up."

He gestured to Michonne and pointed at the heapster still sitting with the sketchpad in his hand, "Babe, you're an artist. Take a look at the drawing of me. Is it any good?"

Michonne reached a hand out for him to give it to her. She took her time studying it while Rick held the gun aimed steadily on Jadis' face.

Impatiently, Rick asked, "Did he make my butt bigger?"

Michonne laughed, "Why would you want a bigger butt?"

He shrugged a shoulder, "I don't know. Thought you might like it."

Michonne put a hand on his ass and squeezed, "I like it just fine." She turned back to the artist. "This is really good. Do you want to live?"

The GPK started to look at Jadis but Michonne cut him off, "Don't look at her. She can't help you now. Do. You. Want. To. Live." She leaned closer to make sure he understood what she was saying.

The worry on his face disappeared, he stood tall and nodded his head, "Yes, I do want live. And if you spare me, I will make sure that I will always be loyal to Rick and his community. I will also be loyal to you, ma'am."

Both Rick and Michonne dropped the cloth covering their noses and mouthed, "Wow."

Rick raised a hand, "Hey now, remember that's my wife. You can join us and I'd like your help to tell the rest of your people to aid us in fighting this war, because Jadis here, is about to lose her head. After that, _you_ are going to take a shower."

 **THE END**


	2. After

**Thanks for this request I got from RBGzMom. I thought it would be fun to see what happened to Rick and Michonne** ** _After_** **, lol. My timeline is a little off, but I thought it was cute.**

 **AFTER**

"I live, make… new deal."

"I can't believe it. You're about to die and you still can't talk right?"

With a smirk on her face and an arrow-pointed eyebrow raised, Jadis spoke in a seductive tone, "New deal."

Rick raised his colt, tilted his head and squinted at the delusional heapster, "No."

He put a bullet underneath the bangs, right between the eyes. He turned as he holstered his gun, then put an arm around Michonne, "Let's get out of here."

They had only taken a few steps before they heard a snarling growl. Michonne and Rick stopped and looked back where Jadis' body was _supposed_ to be.

They couldn't believe it. Jadis the walker stood there, her once hazel eyes were now milky white. That stupid eyebrow was still raised, and her lips were still spread into that crazy looking smirk.

Michonne unsheathed her katana, "Did she even hit the ground?

Rick pulled and raised his gun as they spread out. "No, she must'a turned as soon as I shot her."

With neither one of them wanting to get too close, her smell seemed to have tripled its strength, they moved to where they were on either side of the now awkwardly jerky and grotesque walker, formally known as Jadis.

Michonne glanced at Rick, "Jesus Rick, she's so gross, she can't even die right."

"I know, right?"

The walker paid no attention to the woman on her left and targeted the man on it's right. It raised its claws still covered with black leather gloves with round metal disks and snapped at him. It's only purpose was to fulfill its hunger and thirst.

It's been awhile since Michonne had ever gotten angry at a walker but even though this bitch was dead, she still went after her man.

"I got this." She moved to step in front of the former Trash Queen who was now a creature of putrid, excrement and death. Michonne swung her katana once and then off with her head.

Funny thing, though. Her head went one way and that fucked up square-pegged wig of hers, went the other.

Rick couldn't help but burst into laughter, "Oh, shit! Is that a wig?" He bent over laughing his ass off, tears coming out of his eyes.

Michonne with a serious look on her face rolled her eyes and couldn't help herself, she chuckled along with him. Rick laughing during this mess was too infectious.

His giggles finally subsided, "Ok…I think I needed that." He wiped his tears before stepping over to the still chomping head of Jadis, held out his hand and Michonne handed him her katana. Before stabbing it, they both spoke together, "Bye bitch."

Jadis was done.

Michonne looked at her husband, "Where are your clothes?" She turned to the artist, "What did you do with Rick's clothes?"

The young man stepped cautiously closer. He gestured to her body, "Uhm, Jadis was wearing them."

"All of them?"

"No, she couldn't fit the pants. She only wore his shirt and his boots."

They all took a closer look at walker Jadis and there they were... his boots. Rick made a move to go pull them off.

Michonne put a hand on his shoulder, bringing Rick to a halt, "What are you doing?"

He looked back, "I'm gettin' muh bewts."

She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the foul-smelling body which now started to bake under the hot afternoon sun, "Uh, no you're not. There is no way you are putting those dusty-ass, tapeworm, tick infested, and lime diseased crust buckets back on your feet. She probably left all kinds of arsenic skin flakes in there."

"But, babe, I had these boots since the beginning!"

"And, that's another reason why you're not putting them back on your feet." She turned to the young kid, "Hey! Do me a favor and go get his pants." She walked around Rick with a hand on her chin, contemplating.

Just then, the entrance doors opened, and Daryl and Tara walked in. Both surprised to see Rick in his blue boxers. Rick sighed, "What the hell did y'all do now?

Michonne shook her head, "Didn't stick with the plan, did you?"

Rick retrieved his pants from the young artist. Jadis still wore his shirt and his boots and Michonne probably wouldn't let him wear the shirt either.

Daryl took a closer look at the person who handed Rick his pants, "Who's this?" Underneath all the dirt, he could see the young black teen was tall and slim, his skin the color of tawny-beige and that his hair was short and coily. He also noticed something familiar with his eyes.

Rick answered as he stumbled to put on his pants. "He's one of us now. He convinced the others here to join us against the saviors. Plus, he's a pretty good artist." Once they were on and he buckled his belt and attached his holster, he asked Michonne, "What am I supposed to do now? I need something to wear on muh feet since we're walking home."

Michonne looked around. She looked down at her chest and then she looked over at Tara. Walking over, she whispered something into her ear. Tara's eyes widened with what she was telling her then nodded. She then walked away and turned around, then fiddled with something underneath her shirt. When she came back, she handed Michonne her brassiere.

Hesitantly, Rick gave his wife a puzzled look, "Uhm… what are you gonna do with that?"

"Just watch." Michonne ripped the bra in half.

He pointed at the black fabric and slowly walked backward, away from her, "I ain't puttin' that on muh feet!"

Daryl and Tara sniggered.

Michonne laughed, "Oh, come on. It's got plenty of padding and you'll only have to wear them until we get home. If you do this without fussing, you'll get a special present when you get back to the house."

Rick stopped his retreat and cocked his head, "For real?"

Michonne kneeled by his feet and looked up at him with her pretty brown eyes, and spoke softly, "For real."

He lifted his foot, "Okay then."

Once she put the padded part on the bottom and wrapped the straps around his ankles, they were good to go. "You'll have to go without a shirt, sweetie. Good thing it's nice and sunny." Michonne placed her katana on her back and followed Rick and the rest back to Alexandria.

When they got there, Rick directed Daryl, "We'll talk later about you not sticking with the _plan_. For now, take the trashyardigans to the six-bedroom house on the East side. We'll worry about splitting them up later. I want them all in one place where we can keep an eye on them."

Daryl nodded as he left, "You got it."

Before Rick stepped onto his porch steps, Michonne stopped him again, "Wait. Hold up. Before you walk into my house, you need to get cleaned up."

Rick turned toward the front door waving his hand at it, "But I was going to take a shower."

"You're not setting one foot in my house smelling like last week, today and tomorrow's garbage. To the backyard with ya." She gestured for him to head out back. When he got there, she picked up the hose and turned it on.

"Ah, come 'on! Are you serious? Are you actually gonna hose me down in my own yard?"

"Hell yeah, I am."

* * *

After his shower, Rick came downstairs his curly hair still wet. "I wore the bra-shoes, now where's my present?"

She handed him a large shoe box," Right here." She kissed him on the cheek.

When he opened it, inside were a pair of brown leather, lace-up Captain boots. "Wow!" He exclaimed. Rick put on the socks she handed him and then put on the boots and he sighed. They were extremely comfortable. He lovingly ran his fingers over the cap-toe and enjoyed the feel of the full-glove leather interior.

"This is good. It makes wearin' the bra-shoes worth it. Thank you, babe." He pulled her down for a full-on smooch.

There was a knock on the door and when Michonne went to answer it, Daryl and the young teen were standing there. He had cleaned up (not Daryl) and Michonne was able to get a closer look. He did seem familiar, "Hey, what's your name?"

"Andre."


End file.
